Gooooooal

I really hope you read the title in that stereotypical footy commentator voice…cos I sure did when I typed it! Now we have that out the way we can address what it is I’m shooting for (sorry there will be bad puns along the way, I can’t help myself!) in 2018.

As I said in my previous post I am ditching the diet culture and spending this year, and beyond, loving and embracing myself. That doesn’t mean I can’t and don’t have big plans though. There are loads of things I want to achieve this year, the difference is that I won’t hate myself for not managing them to an OTT planned schedule the way I have in the past.

My goals are a bit eclectic but make total sense to me so bear with me. I also plan on creating (late I know given that we are already in 2018!) a list of 12 things that I want to achieve this year before I turn 30 in December, but this is more fun stuff like purchases or outings.

2018 Goals:

1. Be more organised about the house. I want to get into a proper cleaning routine and keep the place as clean and orderly as is possible with two small boys running amok.
2. Work on my photography. Col got me a wonderful Fuji camera for my birthday so I want to learn more about how to operate that and improve my blog pics.
3. Blog more consistently! I’m murder for writing two in few days and then none for two weeks. If I want to grow this page then I know I need to write properly and regularly.
4. Keep up and add to my skincare routine. I started this towards the end of 2017 and really enjoyed caring for my skin properly and the positive results I was getting so need to not be lazy and keep it going.
5. Be bold! My sense of style has totally begun to emerge and grow in my 29th year of life! Call me a late bloomer but I think it’s due to some new found confidence and body positivity. So I’m going to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone and wear the stuff that catches my eye and I like even if I do worry what other people will think.
6. Have fun! Last year was a great year but it was stressful too. I spent a lot of time adapting to two kids, bought,moved into and renovated a flat, fought with my old work about flexible working, got a new job, helped organise a protest march about flexible working (and appeared on several radio shows!!) as well as finalising my divorce and all the other general admin that life throws at us. So yeh, fun. Doing cool, random and enjoyable stuff with my friends, with my three best guys and with Colin just us two as well.

I am still working on the list of ‘My Road to Dirty Thirty’ ideas but they include saving up for and buying myself an incredible piece of jewellery, running a 5k for charity and visiting some cool historical Scottish landmarks (aka my personal Outlander tour!). Open to any suggestions you all may have for me….maybe I should run a poll?!

K x

New Year, Same Fabulous Me!

My New Years resolution is inspired by the likes of Style Me Sunday and my best gal Hayleigh – not to diet, lose weight or beat myself up about what I do and don’t eat – but to accept and love myself just as I am!

Literally bathing in love today…All for myself!

Diet culture is hateful, it is a multibillion pound industry that thrives on our failures and self loathing. Fuck that! So what if my thighs touch or I have a bit of a muffin top…I’m not a total arsehole, my wee family is a happy one, I don’t wear kitten heels and even shop small/local when I can! Those are much more important things than a washboard stomach in my opinion. So, gone are my annual promises to exercise myself into the ground, cut out all the fun foods and shed all my curves!

Other than loving the fabulous being that I already am, my big plans for 2018 are to work on my photography skills, write my wee heart out on this blog, meet some of my wonderful online pals in real life, have fun with my kids, keep loving and appreciating my other half, bake more cakes, wear more eyeshadow and outlandish clothing! Sounds like a pretty awesome year right?

If you ditch the societal pressures….what will your resolutions/goals for 2018 look like?

K x

Mama Says…Listen up and pipe down!

I need to have a bit of a rant here, one of these niggly things that has been rattling around my head for a while.

I love the NHS, do not doubt me when I say that. It’s a bloody wonderful service and we are super lucky to have it. However, some of the people within it are (I guess as is any percentage of a large workforce) decidedly unrepresentative of their professional body.

Over the course of the last year or so my GP has seen myself and my two boys a number of times due to various things and each time I have found him very dismissive. I’m not the type of person to hurry to the doctor unless it’s something I feel is serious and now I’m a much more confident parent, second time around, I also know that if I’m taking my kids there it’s because I’m genuinely concerned and not just over anxious.

Each time he has left me feeling like some silly girl who’s wasting his time with my concerns – this is so unacceptable! Imagine I allowed his behaviour to put me off going in and my child’s cough or upset stomach turned out to be something far more serious?

My other bug bear is judgy health visitors. Actually I get quite wound up by anyone judging my parenting choices but your HV especially is meant to support you and advise you. Not judge and make you feel shit. The most recent example I have seen was from Megan of It’s The Mother – she had been given a bit of a stern chat from her HV after revealing that she had been cosleeping with her baby girl in order to get some reasonable rest whilst solo parenting for a few weeks. Seriously?! A genuinely sleep deprived parent who isn’t taking any opportunities to get a decent sleep is more of a concern than one who allows their 8 month old to come into bed for a rest. We have H in our bed loads and all the chat I get is “oh you have made a rod for your own back” – come back and tell me that again if he’s still sleeping in my bed at 14 Mavis!! I could go on and on about the whole cosleeping thing because the UK is one of the few countries who really is against it and having read (thoroughly!!) up on it, I am a big advocate if it’s what you wish to do and do it safely.

Enjoying a wee snuggle before bedtime in the big bed!

Anyway, this was a far longer rant than planned but clearly I had some chat to get off my chest! Thanks, as always, for reading along. Please share your moan of the week with me so I know I’m not the only grump out there!!

K x

Skincare Routine

For the first time pretty much ever I have gotten myself into a semi sensible skin care routine. It’s not quite the traditional 3-Step, nor is it the sworn by Caroline Hiron’s double and oil cleanse, and it most definitely is worlds away from the K-Beauty 10 step monster process. It works for me though and my skin is definitely starting to look and feel better than it has in a long time and that’s all I wanted.

I am a working mum of two boys and frankly as much as I love hair and beauty products, the fact is I’m pretty lazy. When my day starts at 5am regularly I don’t have much interest in spending more than a few minutes on my skin as I’d rather be sleeping! 

My skin is pretty normal, with oily nose and t-zone and hormonal acne around my chin and mouth at times (hoping this keeps improving as my pregnancy hormones keep diminishing, it can take up to 2 years though!)

Here is my quick and easy morning and evening routine – might give you some ideas if you are like me and have no routine whatsoever!

AM – I wash my face with the La Roche Posay Effaclar Foaming Gel followed by the Arbonne RE9 serum and day creme that I got from the lovely Becks McCulloch. I feel these give me a good balance of deep cleanse and then a really glowing, nourished base to do my make up for the day. 

PM – I use the Glossier Milky Jelly Cleanser followed by La Roche Posay Effaclar Duo+. The Glossier cleanser is really thick and moisturising and removes all traces of my make up in one wash (although I sometimes do two just to get that super clean feeling!) and the Effaclar Duo+ has been a big help to keep my spots and pigment marks under control.

 

If I feel like my skin needs a little more love I use the Splash overnight mask from Algenist to give it a really good hydrating boost while I sleep!

What are your go to skin products and how intense is your routine?

K x

All of the links added are for reference only and are not affiliate links.

Judgy Judy and the Baby Clique

So recently I had been picking up some vibes from a certain group of women that I know through one of our baby classes. Nothing mean had been said, no outright lines drawn, just a general air of ‘off’ and I couldn’t work out what I had done wrong…

To read the rest of this post, please head over to Bad Mum Magazine where it was originally published 💕💕

Manic Monday, Tuesday, Everyday!

Currently life feels a bit like it’s flying past in a total blur and I am just trying to keep up. Thankfully it’s loads of brilliant things that I have on the go so it’s mostly a positive blur but I’m finding it a tad overwhelming.

Actual image of me at the moment!

The result of this is dropped balls, the metaphorical type of course! The actual writing side of the blog has become distinctly neglected. Instagram is just easier, quicker and is where I have a lot more contacts and followers so tends to become the favourite child when life gets manic. So apologies, dear readers, I will get back into the swing of weekly writing!

My main cause of blur and big news is that I have been scrambling around trying to decide what to do about my return to work. I had my request for part time/flexible working denied and was facing a return to work full time from November. A prospect I didn’t much cherish with two small kids one of whom I don’t even have with me 7 days of the week due to custody arrangements. 

Randomly, while in a local jewellers with my Mum, we were discussing my situation and the owner overheard. She quickly spoke up and said she was looking for someone and did I want to give her my CV and have a chat? Fast forward a few weeks, some serious soul searching, a lot of conversations and number crunching and I am leaving the world of insurance. After 7 years and the frankly crushing disappointment of the denial of my request it felt like the right time. Not only do I get to now work amongst the most stunning diamonds all day, they are also letting me run their social media and marketing which is a dream role for me!

Also me…in the display window!

The only down side of all this is that I will be returning to work sooner than originally planned and have a few extra balls to juggle in terms of childcare arrangements and adapting to an altogether new role.

I have a few reviews to write up and post so keep an eye out for those, but please be patient with me while I work out my best balance. 

Any tips on how to keep things all ticking along with out burning out would be much appreciated!

K x

Werk, werk, werk…

To work or not to work, that is the question. Well actually the reality is for most of us, that this isn’t a question at all. We simply have to work. In order to keep a roof over our families heads, fish fingers on the table and gin in the cupboard the majority of mums need to work in some capacity.

The time this becomes hardest I feel is after having a baby, whether this is your first or third, going back to work after time at home with your child is rough! The guilt alone is crippling, never mind the cost of childcare! Many will apply to return on a part time or flexible basis to try and gain some semblance of work life balance.

Sadly this is where us mamas get a raw deal a lot of the time. Statistics show that 54,000 women a year are pushed out of the workplace for pushing out a baby! A whopping 77% of the mums who do manage to keep their place in the working world face descriminatory treatment whilst there and earn roughly 15% less than their childless peers. In 2017 this should not even be an issue but it is an all too stark reality.

Thankfully there are some amazing crusaders out there trying to rectify these issues. 

Anna Whitehouse, best know as MotherPukka, has been the Lycra clad driving force for the FlexAppeal campaign. Pushing hard (flash mobbing all over the country with toddler and baby in tow!!) for workplaces to become less focused on the ‘bums on seats’ mentality of old, and more on productivity! 

Pregnant then Screwed is another amazing movement set up by Joeli Brearley to support people facing maternity discrimination and help them find the assistance and advice needed to fight against it. They are running a nationwide series of March of the Mummies on the 31st of October this year to shout out loudly about their Early Day Motion submitted to government by MP Caroline Lucas. I have attached the link to the EDM so you can all read the full details and check if your local MP has signed (if not PLEASE email and ask them to do so!)
There will be a March of the Mummies coming to Glasgow on Halloween and my lovely mama friend Hayleigh and I will be sharing all the exciting details very soon!

K x

EDM: http://www.parliament.uk/edm/2016-17/1084
Stats sourced from: https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/en/pregnancy-and-maternity-workplace/working-forward

Summer wardrobe – For the baby of course!

I said at the start of summer I would do a post on all the cute little outfits I had purchased for Harrison and dutifully photographed the bulk of them all ready to go and promptly forgot! 

My baby brain has reached epic proportions so I have started reading slightly more challenging library books and have registered for the OU in a bid to get my brain going again.

Anyway back to Harrison’s summer wardrobe…

• This cute little Disney number was given to us by my Mum and I think was a Sainsbury’s purchase. Supermarkets are vastly underrated in terms of their clothing ranges!! I get loads of baby stuff from Sainsbury’s and Morrisons in particular.
• This was the opposite end of the scale and a splurge purchase from John Lewis. I couldn’t help myself tho as it was so super cute, especially when it was sunny with his wee chubby legs out on show!
• Good old M&S had masses of stuff this summer that I could have lost my tiny mind over! The farmyard print vests and piggy shoes were particular favourites and the red cable knit jumper is both adorable on and really hard wearing!
• This was a little Next all in one set, it was a touch tricky to get on if I’m honest but was perfect and light for the brief spell of sunny weather we had.
• Last but not least is everyone’s favourite bargain shop Primark! You can’t beat paying under a fiver for two tops and two pairs of joggers. Ideal for chucking on the wee guy for crawling around the floor or Gymboree class. Annoyingly the tops are really neat fitting so only lasted about 6 weeks rather than 3 months!

Obviously he has a whole host of other bits and pieces, honestly he has more clothes than his Daddy and that’s saying something!

Where are your favourite places to shop for kids clothing? Would love to hear so let me know in the comments.

K x

Warrior Woman Project

Hands up who remembers the scene in Bridget Jones when Mark Darcy tells her he likes her just as she is? Now keep those hands up if you, like me, felt a thrill at the prospect of someone loving you like that. Still all raised? Yep. Now here is the tricky one, keep them raised if that someone was yourself! Waaaaay less hands up I expect. 

Why do we feel so strongly about finding a partner that loves us just as we are but we don’t set the same standards for our relationship with ourselves?

Style Me Sunday is an incredible fashion blogger and ex-midwife who put together the Warrior Woman Project several years ago. The third one, this year is called Fierce and is all about loving the skin you are in, being brave and not letting anything stop you from being your best self.

They held an event a few weeks ago which had inspiring speakers, live art and a very, very brave photoshoot. Loads of the top female U.K. bloggers attended and stripped down to as little as their fish finger jewellery (a delightful FU to the Daily Fail) to help shout out the Warrior Woman message! 

It got me thinking long and hard about my own relationship with my body. I am pretty hard on myself. Despite the fact that I have grown two beautiful babies, birthed them, fed them both for a time and done things like running Pretty Muddy with my friends, I don’t equate the wonderfulness of those achievements with what I see in the mirror. All I see is a body that I wish was about a stone (or more) lighter, a tummy that is permanently rounded, stretch marks and a scar, sad empty boobs and a face that needs make up to look ‘right’. 

I constantly compare myself to other people, whether that is people I see on Instagram or on tv. It is a terrible habit, especially when the media and online are not real representations of anything. I took two pictures of myself today, neither of them makes me comfortable and posting them on here is giving me the serious heebie-jeebies so please be kind! One shows how much more slim and toned you can look with a bit of posing and lighting and the other is just me, lumps and all. 

The point of me making a tit of myself in my underwear online is, anyone can make themselves look smaller,prettier and more glamorous but it doesn’t make it the truth so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t look like that!

I can’t teach my children to have pride in themselves no matter what if I can’t even do it myself. So no more worrying about my weight or my skin, no more crazy diets and more time focusing on what makes me happy and healthy (don’t worry that doesn’t include any further mincing about in my pants online!) 

Please go and check out Style Me Sunday and read about the Warrior Woman Project and her style as I think she’s pretty damn awesome! https://www.stylemesunday.com/

And please, please, be your own Mr Darcy and love you just as you are!! 

K x

Choices

Today my son will make his own choices about what to have for his lunch… a free school lunch that as a P1 he receives between now and the end of P3. A free lunch that Theresa May wants to take away from him.

Today I will make my choice about who to vote for and I will make that choice with my children firmly in mind. It’s a no brainer for me frankly and yet I still fear that come tomorrow Theresa and her wealthy cronies will still be in charge.

I cannot and will not tell you who to vote for, I can only hope that you vote for a better future for us all. What I can tell you to do is to vote. I don’t care that it’s cold and wet, just get out there and bloody vote! Please don’t waste that choice. 

K x